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The repetition issue in defining bullying behaviour

In Australia and in many other parts of the world a key part of the definition of bullying behaviour is that the behaviour is repeated. This creates the weird situation where it might be okay to use a behaviour once, but if you use it again it then becomes buying behaviour and is then unacceptable. Surely for justice is to be served, we would not want that behaviour to occur at all. Read More...

Fun and jokes verses bullying behaviour

One of the most used excuses for explaining or justifying bullying behaviour is that it was just some harmless fun. "It was just a joke" or "we were all just having a bit of fun". So where is the line? How can you tell when behaviour crosses over and becomes bullying behaviour. This is difficult question to answer but here is some tips. Read More...

More common mistakes to avoid

Sorry for the gap in between postings, I have been away working. Here are three more common mistakes when working with young people.

Do not tell stories about your own misspent youth. Read More...

Don't allow the smoke to distract you from the fire

Dealing with young people smoking is problematic at the best of times. While not wanting to condone the practice you sometimes need to move through the vale of smoke so that you can work on other important behavioural problems. That means accepting that they are going smoke. Here is some idea's on working with adolescence smokers. Read More...

Boundaries will change

As life and society changes over time, so do the boundaries or rules that we expect people to live by. Especially as children grow older it is important to recognise that the boundaries must change to allow for increasing knowledge, maturity and need to become more self reliant. So it becomes important to choose the when and how those changes in boundaries occur. Read More...

Balanced boundaries is better

Boundaries are rules that we expect people to live by. Groups of people have them to help make life run smoother. There is a balance between having not enough and too many boundaries. But the point of balance is not always in the centre. Read More...

Where is the boundary?

Boundaries are rules that we expect people to live by. Groups of people have them to help make life run smoother. So as we go about our daily life’s we encounter all sorts of different groups and so the boundaries change. There will be different expectations based on if we are with family, at school, at work, walking down the street or sitting in a movie theatre. It is import to have stable boundaries that do not move or change too often. Read More...

Building and eroding respect.

The previous post talked about there has to be a minimum or basic level of respect that everyone needs to give and receive. That is how we can get society to function at its best. But our behaviour can help build this respect to a new level that improves and deepens our relationships. Read More...

It all starts with basic respect.

Having covered what is respect, how to show it and self respect in other posts it seems clear that there is many ways of expressing respect. So is there levels of respect? I think there is because in my past work it has been useful to use the concept of basic respect. Read More...

What is self respect?

One behaviour that seems to be really important in being able to show respect, is being able to respect your self. This idea dates back thousands of years to the Sayings of Confucius - “Respect yourself and others will respect you.” How can we respect others if we do not respect ourselves? Read More...

How do we show respect?

There are lots of ways of showing respect. While having respect for someone can be a feeling, we show respect through our actions and behaviours. Here are a range of examples:
  • Asking to use someone else's stuff
  • The way we speak to people using tone, words and body language
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What is respect?

Show me some respect. What do we mean by that and how can we show respect? Over the next few posts I will try and shed light on what is respect. Most people consider respect as a value or virtue. Read More...

Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part-3

As outlined in rewards parts 1 & 2 it helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. Here is a further 11 ideas for rewards for young children through to teens:
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Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part-2

As outlined in rewards part 1 it helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. Below is 23 ideas for rewards for preteens and teens:
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Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part 1

It helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. If there is a particular behaviour problem then getting an agreement to make changes can be supported with a reward when they do well. Here is 30 ideas for rewards for preschool & young children: Read More...

3 strategies anyone can use

Responding to a behaviour that is called a strategy. There are many ways to reach behavioural goals so it is no surprise there are lots of different strategies to try. Here are a brief description of three of my most used strategies:
  • Naming it
  • Swapping
  • Shaping
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4 Secrets to creating good behaviour agreements

I think having an agreement on what is the expected behaviour norms is essential in encouraging positive behaviour. That is because agreements outline types of behaviour, rules and/or boundaries to follow. It will lay the groundwork for consistency, justifying why the behaviour is not appropriate and creates expectations of mutual respect. A good agreement needs to have four things: Read More...
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