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Don't make a bad situation worse

You have just had a target of bullying behaviour report it to you. There are a number of ways that you can address the issue. But what you say to the target can make a huge difference to the way they feel about themselves and the confidence they will have in you dealing with the situation. While there is lots of well meaning advice out there, here is some that should be avoided. Read More...

Mobbing: A checklist of indicators

In the 5 stages of mobbing post I mentioned that for those within an organisation it can be difficult to identify mobbing. The reason for this is being apart of the organisational culture and systems can blind us to seeing how we act in an objective and unbiased way. Researchers have provided a way of checking to us check to see if it is happening in our organisations. Westthues (2006) provides 16 items to check. Read More...

How does Mobbing happen?

Mobbing occurs when bullying behaviour is carried out and the organisation is also involved. Negative and aggressive acts that do harm are repeated against someone with some degree of organisation help and support. In my research I came across this video about the 5 phases of mobbing. Read More...

Avoiding the 7 traps of not recognising bullying behaviour

My previous post discusses 7 reasons why we fail to recognise some behaviours as bullying behaviours. So below is some things that we can do about to avoid these traps. Read More...

7 Traps in failing to recognise bullying behaviour

One of the tricky parts of recognising if a behaviour is bullying behaviour is that we all have different views and perceptions. This can lead to one person thinking the behaviour is okay while another to see it as inappropriate. Mishna (2012) outlines 7 factors effecting our perceptions on bullying behaviour which are summarised below. Read More...

It's not bullying, but it is bullying behaviour

I have been reading quite a lot at the moment regarding the problem of "bullying". A quick count of my personal library of books is up to 13, plus of course there is also articles, websites and downloads. Some of the way the subject is discussed concerns me because I come from a strength based approach. Using the label "bullying" can be counter productive. Read More...

Understanding the difference between I-messages and You-messages

You might want to read ‘You-messages can work for and against you’ to get the background for this post. I had pointed out that you can have an I-message and a You-message combined like ‘I feel angry when you call me names’. It is common for those new to I-messages to use I feel …(feeling) when you … (behaviour). But an effective I-message does not contain a ‘you’ in it. Read More...

You-messages can work for and against you

Following on from my previous post ‘How to get your message across respectfully’ the other way we can communicate is using You-messages. In You-messages, the message contains either you or you’re in it. For example, ‘You make me so angry when you don’t clean up after yourself.’ Using a You-messages blames the person for the situation and judges them. So it pays to know when to use one. Read More...
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