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13 good books to learn about bullying behaviour

If you are looking for some books to get a good understanding of bullying behaviour, I would suggest you take a look at the following. These are my most referred to books on the subject. Read More...

Don't make a bad situation worse

You have just had a target of bullying behaviour report it to you. There are a number of ways that you can address the issue. But what you say to the target can make a huge difference to the way they feel about themselves and the confidence they will have in you dealing with the situation. While there is lots of well meaning advice out there, here is some that should be avoided. Read More...

Five more mistakes to avoid when dealing with behaviours

Here are some more tips on what to avoid when dealing with inappropriate behaviour.

1. Avoid creating the situation into a win/lose proposition. You can use consequences but make sure you are not going to gain something out of it. 'If you do not get this done I will give some of my work to do' is not a good way to provide consequences. You appear like you are abusing your authority and this can create resentment. Read More...

Do not take the behaviour personally

When a person is using inappropriate behaviour it is easy to feel like they are personally attacking us. Sometimes this might be the case but in lots of circumstances Read More...

More common mistakes to avoid #3

Working with young people can have many challenges. There is lots we can do to help and there is some things we should look to avoid. Here are three more things to avoid. Read More...

It's not bullying, but it is bullying behaviour

I have been reading quite a lot at the moment regarding the problem of "bullying". A quick count of my personal library of books is up to 13, plus of course there is also articles, websites and downloads. Some of the way the subject is discussed concerns me because I come from a strength based approach. Using the label "bullying" can be counter productive. Read More...

Dead Person Test checks if what your asking is a replacement behaviour!

You see a behaviour and respond. This should include a description of the behaviour so they know what needs to change. An effective method to modify behaviour is offering them another option of how to behaviour. This little test can help you make sure you are giving them a replacement behaviour option. Read More...

5 common mistakes when dealing with inappropriate behaviour

There are times when someones behaviour needs to have consequences. But there is some common things people do that hinder rather than help that person change their behaviour. Five common mistakes are: Read More...

5 useful phrases to use

There are many ways to say things that can help encourage appropriate behaviour. Here are 5 words or phrases that I use to describe behaviour that helps let the person know they are doing something that needs to change.
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Boundaries will change

As life and society changes over time, so do the boundaries or rules that we expect people to live by. Especially as children grow older it is important to recognise that the boundaries must change to allow for increasing knowledge, maturity and need to become more self reliant. So it becomes important to choose the when and how those changes in boundaries occur. Read More...

Balanced boundaries is better

Boundaries are rules that we expect people to live by. Groups of people have them to help make life run smoother. There is a balance between having not enough and too many boundaries. But the point of balance is not always in the centre. Read More...

Where is the boundary?

Boundaries are rules that we expect people to live by. Groups of people have them to help make life run smoother. So as we go about our daily life’s we encounter all sorts of different groups and so the boundaries change. There will be different expectations based on if we are with family, at school, at work, walking down the street or sitting in a movie theatre. It is import to have stable boundaries that do not move or change too often. Read More...

Raising children network

I came across this excellent website, raising children network a few days ago and I highly recommend it. The raising children network provides a hugh range of helpful information for parents of children of all ages including early teens. Also available is a large range of short videos that address a range of topics. Read More...

Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part-3

As outlined in rewards parts 1 & 2 it helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. Here is a further 11 ideas for rewards for young children through to teens:
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Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part-2

As outlined in rewards part 1 it helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. Below is 23 ideas for rewards for preteens and teens:
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Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part 1

It helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. If there is a particular behaviour problem then getting an agreement to make changes can be supported with a reward when they do well. Here is 30 ideas for rewards for preschool & young children: Read More...

It is the behaviour, not the person!

It can be tempting to let fly when someone does the wrong thing. But using a label like “your bad”, calling people names or using putdowns does not help the situation. There is a range of reasons why. Read More...

Help in finding solutions to childhood issues

Kids' Skills - Playful and practical solution-finding with children by Ben Furman is a book I would recommend to any parent or teacher of children. It offers a solution focused approach to helping children develop skills that overcome everyday problems. Read More...

Ignoring can help you get a solution

I was flicking through a book the other day and a strategy that was in it gave me one of those ‘yes, I have done that’ moments. Because I had not included this as a strategy in my book I thought I should share it here. The author Bill Rogers called it tactical ignoring. It refers to concentrating on one behaviour while ignoring others on purpose. Read More...
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