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10 days to a less defiant child

10 Days to a Less Defiant Child by Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD is recommended reading. This is the book I wish I had when I started out in youth work. Working with youth at risk you dealt with lots of different sorts of behaviours. I had lots of parents asking me how we did it and ... Read More...

Building and eroding respect.

The previous post talked about there has to be a minimum or basic level of respect that everyone needs to give and receive. That is how we can get society to function at its best. But our behaviour can help build this respect to a new level that improves and deepens our relationships. Read More...

It all starts with basic respect.

Having covered what is respect, how to show it and self respect in other posts it seems clear that there is many ways of expressing respect. So is there levels of respect? I think there is because in my past work it has been useful to use the concept of basic respect. Read More...

What is self respect?

One behaviour that seems to be really important in being able to show respect, is being able to respect your self. This idea dates back thousands of years to the Sayings of Confucius - “Respect yourself and others will respect you.” How can we respect others if we do not respect ourselves? Read More...

How do we show respect?

There are lots of ways of showing respect. While having respect for someone can be a feeling, we show respect through our actions and behaviours. Here are a range of examples:
  • Asking to use someone else's stuff
  • The way we speak to people using tone, words and body language
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What is respect?

Show me some respect. What do we mean by that and how can we show respect? Over the next few posts I will try and shed light on what is respect. Most people consider respect as a value or virtue. Read More...

Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part-3

As outlined in rewards parts 1 & 2 it helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. Here is a further 11 ideas for rewards for young children through to teens:
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Book now available from Amazon.com

I am really happy to announce that you can now buy the book on Amazon.com Only the paperback version is available from Amazon at the moment but
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Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part-2

As outlined in rewards part 1 it helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. Below is 23 ideas for rewards for preteens and teens:
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Idea’s for rewards for good behaviour part 1

It helps to encourage good behaviour by offering incentives and small rewards. If there is a particular behaviour problem then getting an agreement to make changes can be supported with a reward when they do well. Here is 30 ideas for rewards for preschool & young children: Read More...

Two ways anger helps you

Anger is an emotion that people most often think of as being negative, destructive and something to be avoid at all costs. But anger can help you. First of all it lets you know that something is wrong.
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It is the behaviour, not the person!

It can be tempting to let fly when someone does the wrong thing. But using a label like “your bad”, calling people names or using putdowns does not help the situation. There is a range of reasons why. Read More...

3 strategies anyone can use

Responding to a behaviour that is called a strategy. There are many ways to reach behavioural goals so it is no surprise there are lots of different strategies to try. Here are a brief description of three of my most used strategies:
  • Naming it
  • Swapping
  • Shaping
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Help in finding solutions to childhood issues

Kids' Skills - Playful and practical solution-finding with children by Ben Furman is a book I would recommend to any parent or teacher of children. It offers a solution focused approach to helping children develop skills that overcome everyday problems. Read More...
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